Good morning buddy. It’s your uncle Jeff and today I want to tell you a good story. Years from now when you grow up, you will ask your mommy and daddy a question. This is a question that a lot of little boys and girls ask their mommies and daddies as they get older.

“Mommy, Daddy, what happens when a baby is born?” Well the good news for you is that since you’re so special to me, I feel like you deserve special treatment and should not have to wait until you’re older to find out how you came to be. Uncle Jeff is going to do you a little favour right now and tell you a story of how you came to be. He remembers how much work had to be put in to ensure you were brought to us and right now, he is going to share this with you.

The Stork: What is a stork? Well a stork has a very important job. This job is to deliver all newborn babies into the world. Mommy and daddy write a letter to the stork and agree to work together with each mommy and daddy to ensure the baby makes mommy and daddy happy and also to ensure that the stork does his job properly. The stork loves his job and therefore chooses to not get paid for it but rather he just does it in his spare time and says that he only appreciates making people happy.

Now uncle Jeff does not like the stork. Do you know why Uncle Jeff does not like the stork? It’s because of the type of animal a stork is. A stork is a bird and uncle Jeff does not like birds. You see, even though the stork has a very important job, he gets hungry like everybody else. Unfortunately for uncle Jeff, the stork really loves him. When your mommy and daddy wrote that note to him to have you delivered, he was on his lunch break. Each time the little stork opted to find uncle Jeff, he was unable to do so as uncle Jeff was calling grandma all of the time. One day, the stork decided to build a nest outside of uncle Jeff’s window. “Even though Jeff is busy now, I will catch him soon.” I mean, he can’t always be gone, can he?” he would say.

Before you were born, the stork would not give up his pursuit of uncle Jeff. The good news for uncle Jeff was that each plan the stork devised to catch him failed as uncle Jeff would either be on the phone with grandma or riding the bus somewhere. Well one night as uncle Jeff was sitting on his chair, the stork arrived for his lunch break outside of uncle Jeff’s window.

“I got him now. Boy I’m really going to love this delicious human being. But first, I have to put my bib on.” he said

Just as the stork was about to eat his lunch, his cell phone rang and it was mommy and daddy.

“Yes hi Mr. Stork. We would like a baby boy to be delivered.” they said

“Oh every time I try to eat my lunch, I get disturbed. he complained. But this is my favourite job so I guess I can make an exception.”

The stork flew to the factory of babies and called mommy and daddy to ask them what they wanted you to be named.

“We like Jacob!” they said excitedly

“Very well then, Jacob will be delivered to you. I’m on my way now.” he said

The stork put you in it’s beak and began to fly with you to deliver you to mommy and daddy. On his way, he passed by uncle Jeff’s house which made him very hungry.

“If I stop to get a little bite to eat on the way, it would go against the first rule of the baby delivery handbook.” he said. “it says so right here. All babies must be delivered to their mommy and daddy. If a baby is delivered to their uncle, the contract mommy and daddy signed will be no good. Since I’m so hungry though, I suppose I can drop you off so that my friends the tadpoles can deliver you instead.”

The stork then dropped you off to the land of tadpoles.

“If you deliver this baby, it will make you turn into frogs, I promise. he said. Now I’m going on my lunch break and I don’t want anymore disruptions. Is that clear?” he said

After the stork dropped you off, he returned to uncle Jeff’s house when uncle Jeff was not busy.

“This is going to be great.” Time to eat. I’ve been waiting for this all day.”

Just as the stork was preparing to eat, Uncle Jeff called grandma again and grandma said she was busy.

Just as the stork leaned in to eat uncle Jeff, his phone rang again. “This better be important.” he said

“Hi boss. We were just wondering which one of us should deliver Jacob as there is a lot of us who want to do it..” said the tadpole

“Oh I don’t know. Why don’t you have a race to the finish line to see which one of you should deliver him. After all, he needs a strong tadpole to deliver him. It’s what his mommy and daddy wanted.” said the stork

After the tadpoles finished the race, the winner found himself unable to deliver you because the doorway to where mommy and daddy were was closed and they did not have a key to open it.

Just then, the stork’s phone rang again. “This is unbelievable. I just want to eat my lunch in piece. What do you want?” he snapped

“Sir sorry to bother you again but the doorway to get Jacob to his mommy and daddy is closed and we can’t get through. Is there a key or something to open it?”

“Good question. Let me just check the official baby delivery handbook. “Let’s see…make sure to cut him in little pieces, eat the beard first….oh wait a minute, this is the handbook on how to eat uncle Jeff. Here is the official baby delivery handbook. It says that in order to open the door to deliver Jacob, you must play the xylophone as his profile shows that it’s his mommy and daddy’s favourite instrument. Mommy and daddy, did you receive a xylophone in the package I sent you for when you were delivered Jacob?” he asked

“Yes it’s right here.” said daddy

“Ok so mommy you need to play the instrument while grandma needs to dance to the music of the instrument. This will allow the doorway to open so you can finally be delivered Jacob.” he said

Mommy started playing the xylophone while grandma danced to it but nothing happened.

“Nothing is happening.” said mommy

“It’s because daddy is not dancing. This is supposed to be a team effort. If you want the doorway to be opened so you can be delivered your baby, daddy needs to dance while mommy plays the xylophone otherwise it will not work.” he said

Mommy once again began playing the xylophone while daddy danced to the music. The doorway was then open only to find the tadpoles dancing to the music as well therefore they could not deliver you.

Meanwhile, the stork was just about to take his first bite of uncle Jeff when the tadpole asked, “Which doorway is it? There are so many.” he said

The stork then began to get a little angry. For goodness sakes, I’ll do it myself. He said.

With that the stork flew to where mommy and daddy was. “Ok now that I’m here, you need to repeat the steps. Mommy, you play the xylophone and daddy, you dance.” he said.

Mommy played the xylophone wile daddy danced to it. Once the doorway was opened, you were born to mommy, daddy, grandma, and uncle Jeff..

“Well as promised here is your baby boy named Jacob and it looks like he came out better than I imagined. You’re really going to love him.” he said. This makes me happy and to show my appreciation for how this baby turned out, I’ve decided I’m not going to eat uncle Jeff because I know that as much as Jacob needs a mommy, a daddy, and a grandma, he needs an uncle too. Uncle Jeff is going to be the best uncle he can be to Jacob. I promise you that. I guess my work here is done but maybe I will be back some day to work with you.”

The end

That’s the story of how you came to be. While uncle Jeff still does not like birds, he loves you and he knows that if it wasn’t for the stork, you would not be here. This is why uncle Jeff is going to say thank you to the stork for giving him the best nephew in the whole wide world.

I love you Jacob and we will meet soon I promise.

Your uncle Jeff