I came up with the title of this blog on the spur of the moment to describe the reason why the issue that took place this morning actually happened. Within the past month since Jake’s birth, I have been able to walk away from problems with the help of his influence as I had made a promise to myself and those around me that I would never allow myself to get angry again. I did this as I wanted to change my way of living and not be so uptight to prove myself as a good uncle to Jake as I knew that I would not be allowed around him if I was to maintain my way of thinking which was relevant before his birth.

In the past few weeks though, several things have happened which have tested my patience. As each of these situations occurred, I had to dig down deep and remember what I had promised myself…..that I had changed for Jacob. This was usually accomplished when I was able to see his image in my brain which would cancel out any situation I was in and I would then be able to relax more.

Unfortunately this all changed this morning when mom happened to be present, (over the phone,) during an altercation I had with staff.

Though this aspect of my life is not as stressful as the others, and I know that I don’t have as many problems as the girls have with the staff at Pullen, more and more each day I find myself engaging in minor arguments with them which has caused me to get annoyed with them. In my previous blogs, I have discussed the fact that I feel they call too early for my morning service and expect me to be wide awake and pleasant even though they have more than likely have awakened me from a deep sleep with the call. On so many occasions, I have been confronted by each of them individually on my mood towards them in the morning. Each of these occurrences has had the same response from me…….why do you call/show up so early? I’m trying to sleep, It’s too early in the morning, I’m half asleep, how do you want me to react? ETC. This isn’t even the worst part if you can believe it. Every day at least 25 times, I’m asked if I have covid by them. This drives me nuts especially as others, (Andre to be specific,) have complained that there’s no need for them to still be asking clients if they have it since covid is no longer a thing. Yet day in day out, whether I’m awake or not, whether I’m in a good enough mood to be asked it or not, they ask it. Now, most people would think that since it bothers me so much, I would just ignore the question when asked. This is the case most of the time where I would feign not hearing it as I was walking by. Other times, I will just come out and tell them I don’t have it, and other times I will cut the staff off before they finish asking the question to tell them I don’t have it. No matter which way I try to address the question, one common theme is the fact that each of these approaches have resulted in mom labelling it as rude as she tells me just to answer the question and to not cut the staff off when they’re trying to ask it. I remember a time before Christmas when I actually had covid where Maureen taunted me by saying, “I thought you said you weren’t going to get covid Jeff,” coincidentally following an argument with her when I once again questioned the need to ask if clients had covid while saying I would never get it.

While covid is the main cause for my problems with the staff, a less common problems occurs every now and then. Unlike the situation with covid and the early morning schedule, this situation has never resulted in any complaints from me. That was until this morning.

One problem I have noticed with staff is their knack for hanging up on me prior to me finishing what I was asking them. Though this isn’t a big deal, I have found myself getting annoyed at the idea of having to call them back to finish addressing whatever the situation is. This is especially annoying to have to do in the morning. Also, the truth is that I really don’t enjoy talking to them in general.

Up until this morning, mom has never been present at times when this particular situation has taken place. After wrenching my shoulder while wiping following using the bathroom yesterday, I could not take the pain my shoulder was in as I was unable to move it. After receiving a call from Ben where I addressed the issue, (where he said to take an Aleve,) before needing to hang up to catch his bus, my shoulder pain got worse and I once again went to the mom well as I have done so many times before to address the situation. After also suggesting that I take an Aleve, she also suggested that I ask the staff for an ice pack. Coincidentally, they intercepted this call on a separate situation, (one of the only times they would get away with doing so when mom is on the phone with me.) Not content with ending mom’s call, I merged the two calls where staff asked me what I wanted on my sandwich for lunch. Though I was not intent on being rude, the abrupt response of “Yes” when asked if I wanted lettuce on my sandwich was enough for mom to deem it as such. As I attempted to get mom to address the need for the ice pack, she declined in doing so while staff once again attempted to end the call prior to me asking for it. Finally getting fed up with this constantly occurring, I snapped at the staff yelling…..NO, NO, HEY NO, DON’T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME! I’M NOT FINISHED YET!” Though this resulted in staff staying on the phone, I also forgot one important thing….it was a three way call with mom on the other line….she had heard everything! After mom calmly asked for the ice pack as well as thanking them for making my lunch, staff hung up the phone and after declining another call from Ben, (as he said he would call back,) mom called me right away where she was anything but calm.

(capital letters used to indicate yelling/raised voice,) “YOU ARE GOING TO STOP BEING RUDE TO THOSE PEOPLE! I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK THEY DO TO YOU, WHETHER THEY WAKE YOU UP TOO EARLY, WHETHER THEY ASK YOU A MILLION TIMES IF YOU HAVE COVID OR WHATEVER ELSE YOU THINK THEY DO….YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE RUDE TO THEM!”

I then tried my hardest to explain the annoyance on my end but as history has taught me, nothing matters on my end once mom has caught me being rude to someone. For what it’s worth, I said that this isn’t the first time they have hung up on me when I tried to ask for something needed. I then made a big mistake by saying that staff need to learn phone etiquette and respect. This resulted in this response from mom:

(capital letters used to indicate yelling/raised voice,) “YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO SHOULD BE COMPLAINING ABOUT OTHERS NOT HAVING PHONE ETIQUETTE. IF ANYTHING, YOU HAVE NO PHONE ETIQUETTE. YOU CALL ME OVER 50 TIMES A DAY, MOST OF THE TIME EARLY IN THE MORNING WITHOUT REGARD FOR THE FACT THAT I’M SLEEPING OR GETTING READY FOR WORK, SOMETIMES I’M EVEN AT WORK. YOU DON’T STOP, YOU CALL AND CALL AND DON’T YOU THINK THIS GETS ON MY NERVES? IT DOES GET ON MY NERVES. STAFF ASK YOU, “JEFF DO YOU WANT LETTUCE ON YOUR SANDWICH AND YOU SAY “YES” RATHER THAN SAYING “YES PLEASE” I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH PAIN YOU’RE IN OR IF YOU’RE TIRED, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE RUDE TO THOSE PEOPLE. NOW IF THIS CONVERSATION GOES ANY FURTHER, I WILL NOT GO TO THE MOVIES WITH YOU TONIGHT. GO EAT YOUR LUNCH AND TAKE YOUR ALEVE.”

At the risk of losing the movie tonight, I did something I don’t normally do and I left it go at that even though there was other things I could have said in regard to the topic.

Now I seem to have forgotten the fact that the title of this blog is “No sign of Jake,” as the majority of this story has not involved him. I guess it’s appropriate that this is the case since he was nowhere to be found within the blog. However, the idea behind the title of this blog is meant to say that at no point during this situation did Jake make an appearance as he has done so many times since he has been born and this resulted in the situation occurring as badly as it did. Maybe it’s a good thing he wasn’t present.

One thing i have to take away from all of this is the fact that I really need to understand that when mom is present, there is no such thing as me ever getting mad at any person….even if that person is the one getting me angry.