This is chapter one of what is intended to be an autobiography of my life from start to finish. At the time of this writing, I have currently lived 34 years of my life and a lot has happened in those 34 years. Now I’ve seen other autobiographies written about other people and I know they tend to start at the beginning and work their way up to the current time in their life. However, it is my goal to be different and unique in my approach to writing mine. Also, these autobiographies tend to start with positive things such as the person’s birth, their struggles, perhaps their family’s struggles to get to where they are currently, ETC. However, I’m going to do mine differently in the sense that I will get all of the negative aspects of my life out and then work my way to discussing the positive ones. Throughout my life, I’ve had numerous problems, most of which are actually self inflicted and some which are even physical which have resulted from experiences I’ve had throughout my life. Having said this, I want to make it clear that my problems in no way stem from the way I was raised. I had a great mother who will make numerous appearances throughout the course of this autobiography and only in the good times. At times in my life when my mother has not been present, I wish she was as the situation I was dealing with could have been handled better if she was present. For years I have considered her to be my voice of reason, even as I have grown up and I have to be completely honest in saying that if mom hasn’t been there as much as she has been, I could end up facing jail time or worse as my temper at times would warrant that type of treatment. Unfortunately there have been many times in my life where I’ve dealt with situations in the absence of mom which have had the potential of me facing jail time. Luckily it never got to that point. Now you may be asking yourself what this has to do with my autobiography. Well, it’s a lead in to one of those times….one of those situations that occurred where mom’s presence was not only requested but necessary as it could have helped the person I was feuding with. What makes this so bad is that it occurred on the best month of all…..December 2023. While everybody should have been in a good mood and celebrating Christmas, I was meeting the grinch for the first time and it wasn’t a pretty sight. As I have relived this chapter since those events took place, it still keeps me up at night.

The following events took place in December 2023

What should have been the best time of year for most people started out as the worst time of year for me. I believe it started at the end of November when my mother and step father picked me up for an appointment while my step father was dealing with a bout of covid, (which was thought to have been just allergies.) After my appointment that day, I began to experience the same symptoms he had that got worse as the days went on. A couple of days later, I went to my mother’s house for a family get together having felt very weak in the lead up to leaving. Once I was at her house, I found myself freezing anytime there wasn’t a blanket on me. Also I found myself uncharacteristically not making conversation when other guests arrived and I was falling asleep despite the noise made by the other guests. I was unable to talk as I did not have the energy. After the guests left, mom gave me a covid test which was positive despite everybody thinking up to that point that it wasn’t. I returned home to my house where covid protocols are in effect and had to deal with staff coming in with p.p,e. on (which I annoyingly refer to as crap even though I know why their doing it.) Of course, I was forced to isolate thus putting my participation in the annual Christmas party in jeopardy if I wasn’t better. Also I had to deal with an insensitive staff named Maureen with whom I had argued over the validity of needing a covid screening done. At one point she arrogantly told me “I thought you said you were never going to get covid Jeff.” I have yet to see her since then. Anyway, all turned out ok and I was better in time for the party and had finished my isolation requirement.l At the time I didn’t think it could get any worse and then this happened.

On December 20 2023, I took a trip to the mall to finish my Christmas shopping. At this time, I had been dealing with periods of migraines which were a cause for concern. As my head began throbbing midway through the trip, I was told by mom to go and buy myself some Tylenol to have with me to get rid of the headache. This is the part where I met the grinch in person. No, it wasn’t Jim Carrey and in fact it was a woman….one who I didn’t know at the time and who I do not know now. However, all this woman had to do was mind her own business and maybe what happened wouldn’t have happened. Maybe then I would have had a better Christmas.

I have always had trouble unscrewing the bottle caps on medicine bottles. After an associate helped me find the Tylenol, I asked her if she could help me unscrew the bottle cap explaining that I had a hard time doing it in the process. She arrogantly responded that she wasn’t allowed to do so. After disputing her tone of voice, I ran into another shopper who seemingly had nothing to do with the situation and no right to interfere. She caught me off guard where I tried to explain to her my side of the story, (I don’t know why I did this as it was none of her business in the first place.) After she made a smart ass remark to me, I told her to mind her own business after which she referred to me as an a hole. Since the situation had nothing to do with her, I called her a bitch and told her to take her f—–n nose out of my business and said I would show her what an a hole I can be if she didn’t stop. While waiting in the line up at Dollarama, (where the incident took place,) I refused to oblige when the associate in question offered to check me out citing the fact that I did not like her as a person and would actually prefer to wait which is also uncharacteristic of me since I lack patience. When another cashier took me, I asked him to help me which he obliged to but not before being told by the associate with whom I had the problem not to help me at all. As I attempted to leave the store, the associate made the following statement:

“You need to respect me. I helped you for over an hour…” ETC which I perceived as being just another cry for respect that most people who are that culture, (she was muslim,) expect from Canadians. My response was….. “I need to respect you? No you need to respect this….(pointed middle finger at her,) Merry Christmas and Santa is right….you are a HO HO HO!”

If this wasn’t bad enough, as I turned around I could hear the lady who I fought with bragging about how she put me in my place…

“Yeah he was really rude to that associate so I told him off.” she said

Disregarding the people in front of her, I yelled “THIS THING IS FASTER THAN SANTA’S SLEIGH AND YOU’VE BEEN A NAUGHTY BITCH. YOU KNOW WHAT NAUGHTY BITCHES GET? NO, NOT LUMPS OF COAL. THEY END UP AS A HOOD ORNAMENT ON THE FRONT OF MY FOOTREST! YOU STUPID BITCH! BAH HUMBUG!” I then attempted to drive my chair into her and in the process bumped into every person standing in front of her while also knocking merchandise off the shelves. Before I could get to her though, I was held back by two security guards who refused to arrest her at my request for starting a riot in my words.

“YOU BETTER HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN, YOU F—-N BITCH.” I yelled as the security forced me away.

As it always tends to do, this situation was relived over and over again in the lead up to Christmas thus putting it in jeopardy. Unfortunately from time to time, this issue resurfaces as it did which gave me the inspiration to write this as my first chapter of my autobiography. I have to be honest in saying that there’s going to be a lot of these chapters which deal with issues I have faced over the years, though not all of them will be as violent. It just goes to show that the holiday season did not start as merry as it should have.

Hopefully this year is better.

The End