There is something that really annoys me about the morning. Everybody knows that mornings in general should not exist as far as I’m concerned. However, something even more annoying is the way my mornings are structured. Since I’m not a morning person, obviously I would prefer to have everything done in the evening. Having said this, mom would prefer if I kept a routine where my showers are done in the morning as I would prefer to do them at night. This has been an ongoing feud we’ve had for months, possibly even years to this point. You see, the biggest problem is that I feel that staff give me my 9 a.m. call as it’s better for them. In my mind, they fail to take into account the fact that I don’t sleep well at night and that I like to sleep in. On numerous occasions since I’ve been here, they’ve called me every morning at 9 a.m. completely disregarding the fact that I’m likely in a deep sleep from which they have awakened me. What makes this worse is the fact that I’m expected to be cheerful towards them despite the fact that they woke me up. On shower days, it is expected of me to be up and out of bed by the time they get to my room. Ok so I probably should have mentioned this before now but most of the expectations come from mom and not staff. She is the one who expects me to be cheerful and outgoing in speaking with them. Well, the way I see it is every morning when mom doesn’t work, I call her early in the morning numerous times. I will continue to try every so often until I reach her. The problem is that when I do, what does she say to me? She gets mad at me and tells me it’s too early and that she wants to sleep in. Well, the same thing I supposedly do to her, staff do to me because 9 times out of 10, I’m in a deep sleep when they call me and my demeanor towards them during the call, (which is barely attentive, ETC,) reflects that. I’m not going to change on a dime and be all cheerful, ETC. Let’s not forget the fact that I’m sleeping and just like mom doesn’t like me to wake her up, I don’t want to be awakened every god damn morning by people I can barely stand. When they have called me in the morning, it’s true that I’ve been less attentive to the conversation and I’ve even gotten mad at them for doing this. I mean, it’s a lack of respect. They know I’m trying to sleep so why bother me. Mom doesn’t like it when I do it to her so should I not be afforded the same respect? I’ve made attempts at changing my call times but Jen says there’s nothing available. In a last ditch effort, I have recently started showering on my own at night as I know there are some people who do that so they can be fresh for the next day. However, this only starts a new argument between mom and I as she wants me to take it in the morning, yet when I don’t have a shower booked, I’m ok to do it at night for myself. Now I want to make one thing clear. Doing it in the evening is better for me as it gives me more time to sleep in the morning. Having said that though, the argument always occurs. “Take it in the morning Jeff” “No mom I would rather take it in the evening…ETC. Though this gets very annoying, it’s not about the shower being taken in the morning or in the evening. Mom just seems to want me to adapt to the same routine although this is one that gets on my nerves. A shower can be taken just as easily in the evening as it can be taken in the evening. I’ve proven that I can do this on my own so what’s the point of taking help where I don’t need it? Also, I have noticed that even when staff are present for my showers, they do nothing in regards to helping me. They stand outside the bathroom and wait for me to be finished. The thing is that I’ve told mom all of this and she still refuses to listen.

Having said all of this, the need for a shower or not isn’t even the real problem here. As the title of this entry implies, “Mom comes first,” the problems that occur in the morning occur because of this very thing. Every morning has to start the same way for me and it it doesn’t, everybody else can wait for me. Mom needs to be the first person I talk to in the morning before I can get anything else I need to get done. For this reason, if I have not spoke to her prior to 9 a.m. (if she’s not working,) anybody else who calls me will either find themselves getting a voicemail or will be subject to quick but abrupt answers. Admittingly, it has happened hundreds of times since I’ve been here where staff have called me at certain points in the day which have quietly been reserved for mom, (though mom herself is opposed to this,) where I have either declined their call or answered it but only provided quick abrupt answers to their questions. Here’s an example:

Staff: “Jeff do you have a cough, fever difficulty breathing?” “For supper is this, you are down for a leftover, this is what we have…..” “Are you ready for your call/shower?”

Note, The multiple questions are being asked at different times of day. The covid screening gets done twice a day while the shower is done in the morning and leftovers apply to supper only therefore that question is asked in the evening. When mom worked, there was two times a day when I was expecting her call….in the morning before work and in the evening when she finished. If staff called me before mom did in either instance or if they intercept a call between mom and I which is already in progress, it will be met with a negative response which is meant to imply annoyance such as:

Jeff: “No, what do you think. Can you please stop asking me that? If I had covid, do you think I would be doing this? god, you get on my nerves.”

Annoyed responses to covid questions

Here are the responses to dinner conversation if I am waiting for mom at the time of the call:

Jeff: “What am I down for to eat for supper tonight?”

If staff’s response is a leftover, then I will ask them to read the choices. If I find they take too long or put me on hold to go to the kitchen and check, I will respond with something to the effect of:

“Would you please hurry? No, I cannot wait a minute. Why can’t you just tell me now? I have a life too you know and just like your own kids, (if it’s a staff who I know has kids, Marjorie, Dorothy, at one point the Vanessa who used to work here,) I need my mother too and what kind of person do you think I will be if she tries to call me and I’m on with you people? Hurry up…..ETC.

If mom happens to be on a call with me when staff try to call, she will encourage me to take the call and to do so politely despite me believing that they are over stepping their bounds in disrupting what I call a feel good mother and son moment. At certain points, we have agreed to be merged together on the same call so she can hear if I’m being rude or not. Unfortunately, despite her presence on the phone, if I feel the call is taking longer than it should, and especially if the conversation mom and I were in the middle of wasn’t finished yet, I will be as abrupt as I would be if she was not present. As you can imagine, when staff disconnect on their end, mom would end up giving me a lecture.

The thing is that I don’t mean to be rude or to cancel any of my staff calls like I have in the past. The moral of this story is that STAFF NEED TO KNOW THEIR PLACE WHEN MOM IS PRESENT AND THEY NEED TO REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE NO PLACE WHEN MOM IS PRESENT.

By the way, going back to the shower routine, if I have not reached mom by 9 a.m. the call where staff do my screening/ask me if I’m ready for my shower will be declined as well as the shower itself for fear that mom will try to call me while I’m in there, hence I will not be able to answer it.

However, if I do get an answer from mom before my call time, everything remains the same.

MOM COMES BEFORE ANYBODY OR ANYTHING IN MY LIFE…..WHETHER SHE IS ON BOARD WITH THIS OR NOT.