Though this is a normal thing that most people do and it’s not a bad thing, as a matter of fact, it helps people a lot and if we didn’t have it, a lot of people would be suffering, I’m completely uncomfortable around hospitals/doctors as well as anything medical or surgical, ETC. This is very ironic considering my mother is in the health care field herself but for as long as long as I can remember, I’ve never appreciated any help given to my by medical professionals unless mom is that person. Also, I’ve always considered hospitals to be equivalent of jails and I’ve always felt that it’s a bad place. This is likely because of the fact that some people die in hospitals but in general, I know that if we didn’t have them, the world would be suffering. This also applies to appointments that I have in clinics as well. Every single time I have one, I will find every reason not to go to it. These reasons could range from the appointment time being too early to me not feeling as if the appointment in question is as necessary than previously indicated to believing that mom, (since she is in the health care field,) is just as qualified as any doctor to do what needs to be done despite most of my appointments requiring care from a doctor who is higher up than mom is and also that level of care being outside mom’s jurisdiction to do as she has likely not been trained to do it properly. This problem I have extends to all surgeries I’ve had which to me sounds obvious. To date, I’ve never willingly gone in for surgery of any kind without apprehension or without it first resulting in a back and forth argument with mom consisting of Me: I don’t need it/want it mom, and mom: Yes you do need it/you are getting it done.. if you don’t you’re on you’re own with your health, ETC. This usually leads to most of my appointments being cancelled but about two years ago, I did have an in and out surgery, one which I was not sedated for to repair a cyst on my tailbone. Needless to say, the night before was hell for me. I got no sleep at all and was on the toilet a lot over nerves but I got it done though. Also, I cannot stand sleep studies. To date, I’ve only officially had one. This was when I was a child. Though I’ve had others scheduled since then, (including one just recently,) but they have all been cancelled without mom’s approval or knowledge of this. This has lead to me getting in trouble over not wanting to get it done. However, the last sleep study I had booked was cancelled but this was an agreement mom and I had.
I’ve always said that we’re lucky to have health care. I will stand by this statement unless I’m the one who needs the care at which point, doctors go from life savers to prison guards. I mean, I won’t even go to physio without some sort of complaint, (in this case, usually over the time as this doctor in particular has a bad habit of booking me for early morning appointments when I’m not a morning person.)
They’re good people. They make the world a better place and I know mom is one of them and she is the one I trust more than anybody else, (I’m talking about mom,) but in general, despite their good intentions to help people, I’m absolutely uncomfortable around doctors or anything medical and especially hospitals. I don’t mean to be rude to them or belittle their job title or accuse them of not knowing what they’re doing, ETC but the fact is that these people make me nervous if I’m being totally honest.
To end on a high note, mom is the only nurse I trust completely and the only person I will always trust. If I’m not talking about mom, nothing good will come out of the situation.
That being said, I get a sick feeling, (pardon the pun,) when doctors are around me or are mentioned in any way.
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