So today is the day of lunch ability. Though I’ve been there before, my last time there was years ago, then again they only have these sessions every few months. I’ve been known as a creature of habit so taking long extended breaks from doing something will be regarded as new once it resumes. This will result in unwillingness to partake in (insert activity,) and fearing I will not make any new friends while believing that the friends I already have are good enough not to be replaced by new ones. Under normal circumstances, I would have panic attacks which grow as the event gets closer which usually lead to a back and forth argument between mom and I over whether I should join or not, one that she always wins. The night before the event is to take place, I will get very limited sleep over worry about the events that are to occur and wake up with a nervous feeling in my head which in turn results in nausea. All of the above occurred this time around. I had the argument with mom and lost and I didn’t sleep at all last night but if anybody was wondering, this was the idea behind the first five part entry I wrote titled “The Biggest Pet Peeve I Have,” which discussed my unwillingness to go to this group or any other for fear that I will not accomplish anything/make new friends, ETC. The difference between all the other panic attacks I had and this one is the fact that I was calmer than usual, enough to write a proper piece on the situation where normally, my anger/nervousness ETC would prevent me from establishing a proper mind set to do so. There were new elements to the situation added throughout the week with each discussion about this topic and seemingly with each passing day leading up to today. The new incorporated element was the catalyst behind each part.

While it may have been a difficult week, it’s ending with me feeling a sense of positivity going in. Maybe I will make new friends/find a girlfriend, ETC. I may even enjoy this. However, I think the main reason I am looking forward to this is the fact that it is getting annoying talking to myself all the time as if there’s somebody present. At least, this will give me the opportunity to expand my social circle. This is something that everybody else aside from me, in their own way had considered. For my part, I refused to properly believe it until now. Maybe, just maybe, this may be what I needed all along. Since mom previously suggested this, I guess it’s true what they say….mom is always right. Maybe my next blog will be discussing some new friends I have made or maybe that girlfriend I’ve wanted for so long. The moral of the story is that I need to give things a chance before saying I don’t like them.

The preceding entry was meant to serve as the conclusion of my five part entry titled, “The Biggest Pet Peeve I Have.”