I’m just going to cut right to the chase. I’m not in the mood to be funny or sarcastic or to beat around the bush. Today is the day where something new happened for me. This was something unexpected as it even caught me off guard. While it’s true that I have a history of bad tempers, it appears that help is on the way. However, it will just take a few weeks for this help to arrive.

I have often said that a girlfriend would be the answer to my prayers as I felt my periods of loneliness were the cause of my aggression. Unfortunately, this is not the kind of help I would be getting. I found out today that I will soon have to see a therapist over my anger issues to find out what is wrong with me. Apparently I had been referred to one by my doctor and this was unknown by mom or me. Of course, when mom found out, she was on board completely with the idea, while myself not so much. I had always equated people who needed therapy as being crazy and insane….people who needed to be locked up in an insane asylum. This caused me to have feelings of apprehension at first until I was talked down by mom who then forced me to go along with the idea. Given how I perceived therapists, at first I was a little embarrassed not wanting to be one of those crazy people who need to see one. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to tell me friends as I knew they would bombard me with questions which I likely would not know the answer to in relation to the topic, (when it would start, who this therapist is, the reason for me having to see them,) ETC. Well, two of those questions have unknown answers to this point. I don’t know when it will start and I don’t know who the therapist is but I do kind of know why they need to see me and this is actually why I was apprehensive of seeing them at first. I sent mom a text while the call was in progress which read “thinks I’m a nut,” in relation to the doctor possibly thinking I’m crazy. Eventually mom was able to reassure me enough of their true intentions while telling me that this is not the case. As a matter of fact, after slowly analyzing the situation again, I now understand their true intentions and you know what? I do need their help. So this call was made around lunchtime and since then, I’ve quietly been compiling a list of problems which I will discuss with the therapist. One thing I do know about this is that the therapist is a man. When the secretary asked me what sorts of things cause me to get upset, I stupidly said that my sex life was the problem owing to the fact that I’m a 35 year old man who still has yet to have that and who doesn’t even have a girlfriend to speak of at the moment. This was frowned upon by mom once the call finished with the secretary as she told me that what I said was not a proper answer and that I should have listed other things that get me down. However, at that very moment, it was the aspect I was focusing on the most when the question was asked. I had been going through one of my current episodes where I had wished to have a girlfriend at the time. Mom is right though in assuming that’s not the only thing I have that stresses me out. As a matter of fact, I do hope this therapist has two things once I meet him. I hope he has a lot of time and patience to listen to my problems because as I’m sure everybody knows, if I’m not writing a movie review on this site, most of my non movie reviews consist of some type of complaint over something that turns out not to be a big deal in the end. I’ve got a number of different topics to discuss with this man but these are very personal so I cannot divulge every single one of them. Having said that, in order to make the point I’m trying to make I will say that at the top of the list of complaints to discuss is financial matters. However, the details of this problem I will keep to myself as they are private but I can say this. For years, the bank has stressed me out over the belief that they have screwed me somehow and these issues usually are the catalyst behind at least one of my many episodes in the last few years which are usually only solved after mom has put her two cents in, (no pun intended,) or after issue has been resolved and things go back to normal. Tonight was one of those nights when I got a notification on my phone saying my bank was having technical difficulties and that customers were unable to call to obtain balances or for any other reason. Also the app is currently down for my bank as well. Luckily I got through on my computer and everything worked out. The problem was that once again, it was after I had an anxiety attack over the situation but at least mom wasn’t around to see it. I remember a time when I got so mad at a bank teller that I almost did something stupid, (I’m not going to say what it was,) but let’s just say that both the bank teller and I were lucky mom was there to diffuse the situation otherwise it would have ended badly. Well, this situation did not involve mom at all and it ended ok I think, possibly because mom was not present. I have to think that if she was, it may have had a much worse outcome.

Anyway, all I can say is that better days are ahead. I look forward to meeting my new therapist and I hope he knows what he’s getting into.