If anybody out there has ever heard of Garfield the cat, they must know that he hates Mondays. Well, I learned today that he’s not the only one and to find someone else who hates Mondays, all I have to do is look in the mirror and I will find someone who hates this Monday in particular. Today is Monday and for me, it was one that I would like to forget.

This is a true story of what made my day so bad. It is a story of jealousy, impatience, wanting to take the next step in life, and perhaps being careful what I say because I never know who’s listening.

My day started with a warning from mom which was initially given yesterday to not go out for a walk with my friend Chris not only due to the immense heat but because of an accident Chris had where he fell on the pavement walking and injured his arm requiring it to be bandaged up.

As I realized I had no drinks to offer him, I asked him if he wanted to go and buy one as we were supposed to watch a movie in the evening before he left. As we left, I realized I had forgotten to put on sunscreen so we came back. As luck would have it, I ended up initially forgetting my phone which is something I can’t leave the house without. After applying the sunscreen and leaving, my phone rang as Chris and I were in the dollar store. It was my mother who was unaware that we had left. As this wasn’t the first time we failed to listen to her when she gives advice on any topic, she was mad and ordered us to return home in less than 15 minutes after getting what we had came to get. She also denied my initial suggestion to get ice cream citing the lack of need for it in favor of water and also the possibility of it melting in the heat.

She just happened to call as we entered my house where she berated us for once again not listening to her while saying that Chris needs to put his foot down and talk me down when I try to suggest we do something that’s not advisable at that moment. Though this comment initially made me upset as I felt mom believed I forced Chris to go against his will, I was eventually convinced that this wasn’t her intention to make me feel that way.

With this situation cleared up, another one came up when I accidentally rubbed my eyes with the hand that still hand sunscreen on it causing the sunscreen to burn the inside of my eye and cause me to tear up. As the burning became worse, it brought about a totally unrelated topic that I was currently upset about and I began getting upset at both at the same time. This is usually how my anxiety attacks start, when I’m dealing with more than one problem at the same time even if they are unrelated.

A friend of mine recently wrote a book that was published. Though it’s unclear to me how long it’s been published for, she’s made some money off it. The person in question is actually Chris’ wife with whom I have a very on and off relationship, (not sexually.) Though we’re supposed to be friends, (at least in the eyes of her parents who are Chris’ in laws,) we’ve had our fair share of arguments. Unfortunately, this in turn has caused friction between Chris and I as he finds himself always having to pick sides but of course always picks hers. Most of the time, even if he wasn’t initially involved in the issue or should have at least seen and understood why I’m upset at her, he doesn’t. Normally when we have fights, it leads to the present visit ending badly between Chris and I as the same cycle repeats each time a fight occurs, with Chris always being in the middle and siding with her no matter if she was at fault or not. The constant disagreements between the two of us has lead to mom suggesting that I fail to go there and only see Chris when the girls aren’t present, though this started as once a week rather than going everyday. When that one day a week, (coincidentally on Monday is the day I’m supposed to go over,) is a day that we fight, it then lead mom to say that I don’t need to go and should just see Chris on Fridays when the girls are not around. By the way, the girls refer to the twosome of his wife and her sister who I tend to get along with better than his wife.

Anyway, I used to have a passion for writing myself. Back in grade school, I would astonish teachers with my ability to write great things. It became my favorite thing to do and I was told by a lot of them that I would one day be a published author. The problem is that after I finished high school, I lost sight of everything educational I was taught and therefore lost my ability and motivation to formulate any sort of meaningful and proper children’s story. Attempts at rewriting stories I once wrote were unsuccessful as I couldn’t remember how I wrote it. I was unsuccessful at trying to write one story in particular titled “Please Don’t Squeeze Me” which initially was a day in the life of ketchup told from it’s perspective. At the time when I wrote the story the first time, the teacher couldn’t believe it and called mom himself to tell her how proud he was of me and sent her a copy while keeping one for himself and giving one to other teachers around the school. Mom loved the story but we never got around to publishing it and she has since lost the copy she was given.

After not using my computer for upwards of six months at least, (with the excuse being that the keyboard didn’t work, I attempted one day to rediscover my passion for children’s stories. Attempting to muster up the knowledge of a great children’s story, I wrote one again titled “Catching z’s.” It was about a boy who befriends the sandman after winning a math based game in gym class as a prize. Unfortunately, the ending was too predictable and it was thought by my brother Ben who read the story after I saved it that not enough thought was put into it. It’s believed to have been deleted and to my knowledge, mom never read the story. At another point, I wrote another story called “Jungle Jim” about a group of kids who learn various school topics by sliding down a magical slide with the help of some sort of device. The device was of course named Jim. Anyway, I think the conflict in that story was that the children had to save the slide from being torn down. Once again, problems arose with this story as the ending was again predictable.

There was about a yearlong gap between when I wrote the story “Jungle Jim” and the present. After seeing Parastou having become somewhat successful with the launch of her book, I decided to once again try my hand at writing. As I do not have a program with which to save and print properly on my computer, mom suggested I send the stories to her email to read and have published when she has time. I have written two stories since then and sent them, (although I’m not sure if she’s had time to read them yet as she has not sent me a confirmation email like we initially agreed she would do once she has. The first story was called “The Girl Of My Dreams.” It’s based off a real life experience I had in the aftermath of my first relationship where, feeling as if I had more to give after my real relationship ended, I created a girlfriend in my head named “Megan.” The story is a fabricated one of how we met which details our relationship up until the present day, with everybody in my family having been oblivious to her existence and believing her to be an imaginary being. I wrote it in the hopes that people would enjoy the sci fi like element within it.

The second story I wrote was a Christmas one titled “Christmas is here to stay.” This is another story which is based off my real life emotion of feeling depressed right after Christmas ends due to the immense enjoyment I get from the lead up to the holiday and the day itself and not wanting to admit that it’s over when boxing day comes. In the story, I’m walking in a mall in the gap between Christmas and new year’s when I stumble upon a toy genie who grants my wish that Christmas be every single day. This is accomplished by the grinch who I form a bond with throughout the story. The grinch is actually my favorite Christmas character.

Anyway, having written and sent both stories to mom by email, I found myself getting impatient with her not reading them as I felt she had to as soon as possible to get it published and in stores by next week which was my initial plan.

One big problem I have is a lack of patience and waiting for things to happen. This is especially when things take longer than they should to accomplish. Often times, this get me in trouble as I fail to consider that in most cases, others need to be first and that I’m not the only person whose circumstances need to be considered, ETC. As anybody would have guessed , this is a major problem for me where para is concerned. I will often find a solution that benefits me as if I’m the only one to be considered for that particular situation. Here’s an example from high school on a day where para failed to pick me up due to him forgetting about me.

(Believing that I’m the only one to be picked up,) “You know the problem with this service? They don’t do it right. The driver knows where he’s supposed to be so he should just be there. Here’s how they should do it. And Tom, (the name of an educational assistant who had a habit of believing that I thought the world revolved around me,) before you say anything, I don’t mean this just for me but I’m sure there’s plenty of others who have this problem. It just takes planning and then maybe they wouldn’t need the half an hour leeway. I know I’m not the only one to have called and complained about them being late so the phrase “The world doesn’t revolve around you,” should not apply to this situation. Anyway, a customer, (not necessarily me but anyone,) calls the office and books a ride as they would normally. The day of the trip, the dispatcher calls the driver at his house to inform him of the passenger needing to be picked up. He looks out his window and assesses the situation based on weather factors, how far the pickup is from his house, how long it will take him to get there, (he should leave earlier if the time is during rush hour.) Anyway whatever time he believes will get him there precisely at the time the pickup is, he should leave. So he waits for that time. He leaves. He drives his car to the bus depot and picks up whatever kind of vehicle they intend to send and then goes straight to that pickup. If they just did that, a lot less people would be inconvenienced and maybe they wouldn’t need the half an hour window. They simply don’t know how to plan accordingly. Whether there’s bad weather, traffic, whatever the reason the fact is they still need to be there when they’re asked to be.”

I just realized now that this is totally unrelated to the topic but this is just an example of times where I failed to consider the needs of other people and the fact that sometimes, those needs require me to wait. Anyway, after mom failed to read the stories I wrote until presently, she still hasn’t yet, suddenly I became upset having to deal with an issue that arose the last time I was at Pullen which resulted in me quietly announcing my intention to not return as per mom’s orders when Parya got excited about a trip to La Ronde Chris his wife and Parya are taking . If this wasn’t bad enough, I also realized that I was nowhere near as successful as Parastou was at that point with my stories not read and of course, not published yet. Anyway, a sudden burst of anger occurred where I demanded that my booked be sold for no less than $50.00 upon publication. After letting out a scream due to my burning eyes, I consistently repeated to Chris that I will no longer return to Pullen anytime the girls are present as they continuously flaunt their good fortune at times when my own financial issues are a burden on me. What followed was a tirade on how the girls, (but mostly Parastou,) were the root cause of all of our problems where we would be good with each other otherwise. I then cited the day my nephew Jacob was born. He would have been my first nephew and the newest addition to the family. It was a good thing that happened and I wanted to share the day with my friends only to have the girls ruin it by engaging in an argument with me causing me to go off and resulting the visit being another bad one when the same cycle repeats as always. This time, it was Parya who was the problem as she yelled at me. However, it resulted in the same cycle with Parastou eventually getting involved and Chris yelling at me, ETC.

After telling Chris that I only intend to be friends with him, I listed all of the things that I believe are wrong with Parastou while saying that others around me share my dislike toward her including Ben who is not known to be critical of others normally, though he has voiced complaints supporting my dislike. I then asked him how he could not see it and then proceeded to ask him what he sees in her. Without an answer, I went on to say that she’s just not nice and she makes everybody miserable. He finally came up with a response to the question…..”Her smile” he said. I wasted no time in scoffing at his response and said “So other women smile at me. Does that mean I should b–g them?” Anyway, I then went on a tirade about the very first fight we had. It had taken place during his grandmother’s first visit to Ottawa following their marriage. I didn’t think anything of it but I ended up being blindsided by his tirade. To that point, he had never expressed himself to the level he did. I had been aware of the feud that my step father had with her. I believed it was because she didn’t like the fact that he eventually married mom after Chris’ mother’s death. I never thought it would end up the way it did between Chris and I though.]

It was November 24, 2016. Having been unusually brushed off by Chris each time I called him the first night she was down, I thought nothing of it since I knew she was down. I knew he was going to the in laws the next day and based on how they feel about me, I didn’t think there was a problem. After a trip to Place D’Orleans on my own, I found that the mall was giving out personalized wrapping paper with your face on it. This was during the Christmas season. After I was given a roll for free, I couldn’t wait to tell Chris about it as I knew he would like that as it is something he enjoys. As I called him, he answered. After once again trying to brush me off, I finally asked him what’s going on and why he’s acting like this. Without warning, he let out a tirade that has now to me become iconic.

(capital letters used to indicate yelling,) “YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M YOUR FRIEND. YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!”

At that moment, I was shocked and could not respond. As I was a full time Wrestling watcher at the time, I kept having visions of a promo Goldberg said that previous week in regards to returning to wrestle one more time but I felt it could be attributed to the status of our friendship. In the promo, he said, “all good things come to an end,” and I felt like this determined the status of our then 12 year friendship.

He then passed the phone to his grandma while telling her to listen. Not realizing it was her on the phone, I screamed, “YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”

The grandmother hung up on the phone prematurely. It got so bad that mom came and got me and we went to the movies that night but the damage was done. I knew then and there that we were done once he returned

.Anyway, with his grandmother now gone, I was just about ready to end it with him when mom showed up to ensure that I accept his apology. We ended up watching Wrestling but I never forgave him for what happened. From then on, I was very careful how much I contacted him when I knew she was down.

During my tirade, I told him that even though I don’t like her and neither does everybody else, (meaning his grandmother,) that I would give her what she wanted all along. I later found out that the reason she hates me is because she feels like now that Chris is married, he doesn’t have room for me in his life. So I have taken it upon myself to live life the way she wants me to live it, with me no longer around anytime he is with her as it just causes problems. I ended my tirade by saying, “You’re lucky mom is in your life but you’re also lucky you weren’t at Pullen when you said that. If you were, you would not be sitting here right now and you would have stopped liking me right then and there. I don’t even want to talk about what could have happened to you.”

Anyway, as it always does, “a problem that is unsolved bothers me randomly even when nothing happens to warrant it despite it still being a problem that I will eventually fix later but is not relevant to the current situation.” cliche took place and once again, issues arose from my stories not being read where I reverted back to my crazy state. I called mom but could not bring myself to calmly address the situation instead opting to just moan as I would normally when experiencing this. Having said that, what I was able to discuss was enough for her to understand what the problem was and she said that I would not make any money right away and that she would publish it when she had the time and money to do so. This was following an email sent to her where I suggested that I print out multiple copies of the stories I had written to have a prebook sale at Chapters citing a person’s ability to read not just being through a book. Mom, (having read the email,) turned down the idea saying that I won’t make any money unless the book is published and even then would only clear about $10.

What followed was the same hallucination I had until after Chris left with me forcing someone to read my stories on my computer and pay me $50 for each of them. As Chris left my house, he said goodbye by telling me, “See you when I get back.” thereby rubbing in the wealth that they had. By the way, this was after me going on yet another tirade about how the sentiment of hard work paying off is bs and that you don’t work to get any enjoyment but you do it to support yourself and given the fact that my author aspirations will no longer work, (a fact that I already knew but one that was pointed out by mom in one of our conversations,) that I would not seek out any other form of employment as everything I try to do inevitably doesn’t work and falls through the cracks. I cited the movie reviews I did which I stopped due to not receiving money for them and then answering the daily question, something else I don’t get paid for , and now my author aspirations. Anyway, as Chris left, I told him:

“I hope you never come back. Now get the f–k out!” Unfortunately, this was unintentionally heard by him though it wasn’t meant to and he called mom and told her. She wasted no time in confronting me on the comment saying she will call the in laws and tell them to bring me if I wanted to go so bad. The comment was made as I had reached by boiling point with being envious of them not just because of the trip but because of the success of the book in comparison to mine. Mom said she doesn’t want me to write anymore if it’s going to be something that upsets me if I don’t get paid right away and that it should be something I start by doing because I want to do it. She left the decision of whether or not to apologize to Chris up to me but I chose to do it. Returning back up to my room, mom called me and explained that everything in life has a wait time, no matter what it is. She explained to me that myself along with everybody else in the world has to wait for something. She told me that becoming an author doesn’t happen overnight and could take years but at the present time, I should take responsibility for apologizing to Chris for my off color comment. She then told me that I need to be more appreciative of the life I have rather than what I don’t because it could be taken away at any moment.

After apologizing to Chris one last time and saying good night to mom, everything was back to normal.

The best part about this day is that it’s over. It could have been better but at least there was a lesson learned…..be grateful for what you have, not mad about what you don’t. In good time, everything will always work out.