Tagline: For mom it was luxury living. For me it was a living nightmare.

Our story begins about a week after it was determined that mom was ill with dementia and had to move into a retirement home. The retirement home had to make sure there was enough space for her and that she was going to be comfortable in this new environment. Her level of comfort was supported by the fact that her son was working there. This gave her confidence that she would be well taken care of. Almost everyone is excited for this day. Mom knows she is going to be happy there. Megan has done her fair share to help get ready and my brother is completely overjoyed at the prospect of having his mother basically live with him again after all these years. However, I’m not amused and I believe that mom is being dealt a bad card. I will do whatever it takes to get her to reconsider this move. This is where our story begins.

Megan’s Boy Chapter 5: Moving Day By Jefferson Bert

Our story begins on the morning of mom’s big move. I have been trying to convince mom that she does not need to move despite her dementia diagnosis citing my own personal dislike for retirement homes which mom and everybody else just dismisses as my dislike for any kind of change to the normal routine. To be fair, this was an accurate assumption as I have tried to get mom to see how great we had in when she was more capable. Every time I have tried to convince her, it has gotten me nowhere and has landed me in trouble with mom as well as everybody else around me. The night before the move, Megan put together a little party to celebrate mom’s move. While my mood was fine during the festivities, my overall mood was was back to being less than desirable afterwards. Megan spent no time at all in confronting me over this.

“You’re just mad because your mom is leaving and for the first time in your life, you have to look to someone else for your everyday living and that person is me. I mean , aren’t you the least bit happy for me taking the time to help you? You know, you could be a little more appreciative for what I’m doing.” Megan said.

“I don’t mean to come across as unappreciative. It’s just that for my whole life…..Megan interrupts me before I can finish my sentence.

“I know. Your mom has been your number one your whole life but you had to know that this day was coming. A day where your mom would be unable to take care of you like she once did. There comes a time in every person’s life where their own needs have to be considered no matter how much they have helped others and despite the impact that person made on others. Your mom is at that point in her life right now and if you ask me, I think you’re being selfish. You won’t willingly allow your mom to care for herself. It’s always about you, isn’t it? Well you know what? I won’t stand for this anymore and if you can’t put your own insecurities aside to allow your mom to take care of herself, maybe you just shouldn’t be involved in the move. This is a good thing but your making it less pleasurable with the way you’re acting.” Megan explained.

As harsh as those words were, Megan did make a lot of good points. With this in mind, I tried my hardest to put a game face on and be happy for her, Unfortunately though, this got worse as Brad and Megan began packing for the move. As I looked at the picture on the wall of us as we were younger, it made me feel sad that things were changing again and I reverted back to being cranky again. As we arrived at the retirement home, I wasted no time in trying to change her decision about moving.

“Welcome to your new home. I’m the boss of this wonderful place and we are so happy to have you join us. I understand your son works here too?” she said.

“Yes he does.” said mom

“Please allow me to show you around. Throughout the day we have lots of activities fit for seniors such as bingo and arts and crafts and cooking too.” said the boss.

“Well as my kids will tell you I don’t need any help in the cooking department.” said mom.

“Well if you don’t need to learn how to cook, we can always use help in the kitchen and in exchange for that help, we will even pay you. Would you like me to put you down as our new assistant chef?” she asked happily.

“You mean I get paid even though I live here?” mom said excitedly.

“Of course I mean we can’t make you work for nothing now, can we?” said the boss

“This is amazing. I love this place.” said mom

You haven’t even seen the best part yet. I haven’t showed you where you sleep yet.” said the boss.

“Well I would love to see that.” mom said

The boss shows us mom’s new room. It had a great view of the outside and a tv with a bunch of channels. Also it had her own personal bathroom and a phone she was able to use. It was very clean as well. If this wasn’t enough, the best part was still to be shown.

“Pretty nice place, wouldn’t you say?” said the boss with a smile.

“Absolutely.” said mom

“Well we have a little rule for all new clients who move into our facility and you’re no exception. We hire all of our new clients their own worker to take care of everything and this is non negotiable as it is in the contract. If you were to decline, the contract wouldn’t be official.” said the boss.

Mom’s new worker comes in. “Hi welcome to the retirement home. You don’t have to call me anything. Just ring the bell anytime you need anything and I will come and do anything for you.” she said.

“What is the extent of your duties?” mom asked

“Why don’t you ring the bell and find out.” said the worker.

Mom rings the bells and the worker cleans the room which was already clean, makes her bed and brings her a drink.

“Now this is only some of the things I can do. To make it simple for you, all you have to do is sit there and relax and we’ll take care of everything. This includes your own personal needs such as a shower and the need for the washroom.” said the worker

“This is incredible.” said mom

I haven’t even mentioned the best part yet. You’ve come on a very good day because tonight is our dance night. We do this once every week and it is free for clients and guests are welcome for a small fee.” said the worker.

“I can’t believe how great this is.” said mom. I’m very happy to call this place my home.”

I then speak for the first time in over an hour. “Well I’m not.” I said

“Don’t start Jefferson.” said mom

“So now we are at the point where you need to answer a little question for me. We know that the dance is tonight but what should you do until then?” asked the boss. If you’re interested, they’re playing bingo and there is a huge jackpot.” the worker suggested.

“I’m totally on board with this.” said mom

I look inside the room to find that all of the other people playing are elderly. This sends me over the edge. “That’s it. I don’t care how much this place resembles a resort or if fuckin god himself wanted to move in here. It’s not happening. This isn’t a home. It’s hell disguised by paradise and no mother of mine will ever live here.” I snap.

This earns me a stern lecture from mom.

“You know what? You’ve been nothing but unpleasant this whole time. What’s wrong with you? They’ve been nothing but good to me every since I got here. How many times do I have to tell you? Nothing is changing as far as our relationship is concerned unless you want to force it to change. I cannot take care of you as much as I used to. I’m old now and I need to slow down. This isn’t even about me getting old. It’s about you not wanting to accept my need to move on with my life. For so many years, I’ve taken care of you and your brothers and now I’m the one that needs to be taken care of. You have been nothing but selfish and you’re blind to how much I need this and how good this is for me. If Henry was still around, he would jokingly want to live here. Hell if this place was available when you first moved out, I would have vouched for you to live here. If you haven’t noticed, they do absolutely everything for me. Even the things I can do for myself so enough complaining about this place because remember that I don’t need you in my life if I choose not to have you in it. You have Megan now and I’m ready to accept that she is your primary caregiver. This will be the case if you don’t stop pouting and being negative. Now I’m going to play bingo and I want you and Megan to attend the dance but only if you are in a good mood. Now put on your smile and change your mood right now.” mom ranted

“Mom have you seen these people? Look at them. They’re old.” I said. Is this how you want to end up?”

“That’s kind of how retirement homes work. It’s for people who are old and who can’t take care of themselves anymore. People get old Jefferson. That’s just the way life works. I’m not afraid of getting old. As a matter of fact, I’m happy to have been able to live to be an old person because not everybody gets the privilege of doing so. This is how it is. I’m getting older. You can choose to accept this or you can choose not to have anything to do with me but right now, I’m playing bingo and tell Megan about the dance tonight. I expect you both there and I don’t want you hovering over me like you used to. She is your girlfriend and it’s time you started treating her like she is.” mom said

The comment about me hovering over mom brought me back to the times when I used to routinely do that and for the first time in over two weeks, I started to laugh. This was short lived though. I called Megan in a panic as she was not at the retirement home. She had things to do at home.

“You need to come now. There is a problem.” I said

“Is everything ok?” Megan asked

“Just come now and please hurry.” I say.

Megan arrives at the retirement home where she is informed of the dance that evening and buys the tickets for us to attend. However, she is not pleased with what she sees.

“I don’t see anything wrong with your mom. All I see is her having fun and playing bingo. Is she going to the dance tonight? I bought our tickets already.” said Megan

“Yes she is but don’t you see what’s happening here? I know as soon as we leave, this supposed paradise is going to turn into hell for mom.” I replied.

“You know what? I’ve had a long day. You’re just upset at the prospect of change. If you can’t accept this, maybe we shouldn’t attend the dance this evening to allow your mom to settle in.” Megan suggests.

“No we will go to the dance.” I reply

“Then stop it right now. I’m going to get ready for the dance and I don’t want to hear anymore complaining. This is how it is whether you like it or not.” said Megan

Later that evening, we all attend the dance with mom waiting for us outside. She sees Megan in her dress. “Doesn’t she look beautiful?” mom asks

As the dance progresses, I made numerous references to all the other clients being old. This culminates in me finally getting in trouble from both mom and Megan after saying, “Unlike my mother, you are old and will die. My mother will never be you. All of you are just sad pathetic old timers who have kidnapped my mother and subjected her to the hell that is this place.”

“That’s it Jefferson. I’ve had it with you. You have been like this all day and you know what. You want to see the young version of me? The one who used to make decisions based on your behaviour? Well here you go. Until you can accept the fact that my life here is better, I don’t want to see you. Give me a month or so to get on my feet. Hopefully by then, you will appreciate the wonderful things that are happening to me.” mom said.

“I totally agree with your mom.” Megan said. I think it’s time we hit the road and we’ll see you in a month.” she says.

“You need to accept that this is what I need and what I want. The times where I used to take care of you are over. Until the day comes that you can accept that, I don’t want to see you.” mom said

Megan and I then leave the retirement home. “I’ll see you soon mom. I love you.” I say

The End