People have told me over the years that I should never have a girlfriend. This of course was in the aftermath of my first relationship with my now ex girlfriend which took me five years to even start to get over. By the year 2014 or 2015, (in other words it might have been six years that it took me to get over her,) people started asking me if I would ever consider having another girlfriend though most of my family would have been opposed to that decision given how much they dealt with in the after of this as well.

For a while, there were times when I said no particularly when thoughts of my ex resurfaced but then there were times when I thought I may have a lot to offer a girl as I had grown up and matured from my issues as a teenager. These thoughts actually manifested during a visit to my uncle’s house on Easter when I realized I was the only one present who was not seeing anyone. At this point, my views had changed and I felt like I didn’t want to grow up alone. This would have defied everyone’s belief, (including my own,) that i should not have a girlfriend but it was something I was willing to try. The problem was that there was no girls anywhere I looked. I tried online dating for a while and then I went to a few day programs but I was unable to find anyone that was interested in me enough to start going out with me. This left me even more depressed as I am now a man in his mid 30’s with no girlfriend to speak of.

Having said all of this, I never let go of what I imagine my girlfriend to look like. I’ve always been a fan of English people. I love their accent. Well my girlfriend to be would be of English descent with dark hair who would help me through my day to day life despite her own physical limitations which are more mild than mine. Our story is the catalyst behind the stories I have written recently titled “Silent Love” and “Sins of The Brother” ETC. Each story presents another chapter in our life together and details how we met. Her name according to the story is Megan. I don’t want to spoil the story for those who haven’t read them yet but they are available to read chapter by chapter on this site for anyone who is interested. Just look for any post ending with “By Jefferson Bert” and those are the chapters of my book. I’m hoping to have them published soon.

However, now that I think about it, I realize that this story should remain fictional particularly at times when thoughts of my first relationship have resurfaced causing me to believe that they are relevant again. As you will read in my stories, they are romance novels so I’m pretty sure most people will understand what happens within them. This is as far as it should go though. I should never actually meet another girl as I believe the possibility of the bad occurrences happening again are too great. Megan is only a character in my stories and I am just a character who wants love, (and gets a lot of it in the story as well.)

This just goes to show that not every fairy tale needs a happy ending. I’m just as happy being single and continuing to provide people the opportunity for enjoyment through my books. I do not want to live through this though. This would make all of these books go from romance to horror.

Thank you for taking the time to read this entry which served as a way for me to discuss my grief.

I will be writing more books soon

Jefferson Bert