Well even though this may be a smart type of answer, I know that 36 years ago my mother was pregnant for me as I’m turning 36 years old this year. My mother was 21 years old at the time of my birth so I would think she would have just graduated high school. As far as what she was doing other than being pregnant for me, I really don’t know.
As for what my father was doing, well I couldn’t care less because he’s someone who I do not like or admire anymore. Those who have read my previous entries have read that I admire mom to no end as she has been my go to person for problems I’ve had and advice on how to live everyday life since the day I was born.
Unfortunately though, I have the opposite type of relationship with my father. I haven’t seen him in over five years. Though I have spoken to him a few times, our conversations were nothing concrete and I don’t think he has any idea of what’s happened in my life since I last saw him. This may sound really bad to say but I don’t think I will ever see him again and I don’t have any desire to. However, the fact is that I’m not even sure if he’s alive right now. His health had been really failing the last time I saw him and things got so bad between us that when we cut ties five years ago, we agreed that I would never find out if he passes away. I would not know when or how it happens. He said that he never wanted to see me again and the feeling was mutual. I told him to his face that he was a crappy father and a person who didn’t deserve any respect as I found out some things about him when I was very young that I didn’t approve of and for all the years leading up until five years ago, I was forced to live with those things I became aware of, (which are private enough that I cannot disclose them.) It was five years ago that I decided I did not want to deal with him anymore and this decision was supported by my mother who hates him too. This lead to a heated argument that turned mildly physical which nearly caused me to be hospitalized for what was thought to be a broken nose. With that, as a 31 year old man, I told him to fuck himself and never show his face around me again. He never apologized for what he did nor has he tried to regain my respect at all. Often times I wake up overnight and remember our last interaction and it makes me upset enough to get mad sometimes but once I tell mom, she just asks why I still think of him while reminding me that he is who he is and that I cannot change who he is. She reminds me that I should always consider the people in my life I do have rather than the ones I don’t.
Having said that, I do have a father figure in my stepfather. He’s a man that I can count on and we get along great. He cares about me and treats me like his own son. He’s more involved in my life than my father was and his presence and influence enables me to forget about the monster that my real father is. It’s very appropriate that the last words he said while in my presence were, “Son the monster is leaving.” to which I replied, “Good don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out.” This may sound harsh but it just goes to show how bad our relationship had gotten.
At least I know I will always have mom and she is the greatest person on earth as far as I’m concerned. It’s just a shame that she had to give birth to me through the likes of my real father instead of a decent man like my stepfather. She agrees with this but says that at least one good thing came out of her time with him…..ME!
So to be honest, I don’t know what mom was doing at my age but while I would be open to finding out one day, I really don’t care what my father was doing either at my age or currently.
By Jefferson Bert
JJsMovieRoom 
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