These are the designated times for me to call mom daily that we have agreed to follow. The schedule should remain the same unless there is an emergency requiring mom’s attention which occurs outside of the scheduled time.

Each morning when mom works: Call at 8 a.m. for the usual morning call and plans for the day ETC. A fifteen minute interval between calls will be required if she fails to answer the first time. This will remain unless mom returns the call within that period. If she does not, then my next attempt should only be exactly 15 mins later. The exact moment when the next call should be placed will be indicated by a set alarm which informs me of the need to try again. The alarm system will repeat again if she fails to answer the second time as I will set the alarm for another 15 mins following another unsuccessful attempt. This will continue until I’ve received an answer from her.

Note: If the call is returned from mom prior to the end of a scheduled 15 min interval, the alarm will be deleted following the call and the 15 min interval will no longer be followed.

Each evening: Call at 8 p.m. for our second and final conversation of the day. Refer to the 8 a.m. call instructions for information on how to perform this procedure.

Note: If mom is on another call at the time our scheduled call is to take place, the hour long interval which is assumed to be how long it should take for us to talk may be later than usual. However, the 15 min interval between calls should still apply. I will continue to follow that routine and implement the alarm with every missed call. I will continue to return the calls within the 15 min interval despite knowing she is actively taking another call.

If a situation occurs where mom answers and tells me to call back at a certain time, (usually a time that is later than the usual time,) then an alarm will be set with that exact time and I will not call until that time. Also, the 15 min will not be followed in this case as I should already know why she is not answering or returning my call and the constant attempts at reaching her following the first attempt are interrupting the call she is currently taking.

For example, if mom was on a call and told me to call at 9:00 p.m. the routinely scheduled 15 min interval will not be followed if she fails to answer at that time as the reason for her failure to answer the call should be obvious. Therefore, each time I call following the first attempt when she is on the call is interrupting the call.

In most cases I will be alerted to the fact that she is on a call as I will receive a pop up on my phone which reads “Call is waiting,” as the phone begins to ring as the call is put through. This pop up should appear on my end each time I try to call when she is still actively using the phone.

If a situation occurs where mom has told me not to call her throughout the course of a day or that she will call me later, it means she will be busy throughout the day and in a situation where she cannot accept calls. Attempts at calling her for any reason following this request will almost always result in not getting an answer and will routinely result in confrontation when mom sees how many times I’ve attempted to call her and eventually calls me back.

Protocol for calls on weekends/days when mom isn’t working

With the exception of weekends where mom has to be up early for some reason, the first call of the day should be no later than 10:00 a.m. to allow mom to sleep in. This obviously means that the normal 8 a.m. call should not occur nor should I attempt to call her at anytime prior to 10:00 a.m.

The 10:00 a.m. call should operate similarly, (if not the same way,) as the 8 a.m. call. The 15 min interval between attempts should still apply. Of course, if an alarm is set, it will be turned off if she returns the call within that period.

Note: If an attempt to call mom interferes with my own schedule, (an example of this would be something that is time specific that I must do where I would not be able to reach mom if she calls back eventually,) the urgency to reach her at the time I call is increased and therefore, the 15 min interval will not be followed out of panic that I may not be able to call her back if what I need to do is scheduled to happen with the next fifteen minutes.

For example, if I call at 9:00 a.m. and my scheduled care with my staff takes place at 9:15, the message left on her voicemail following not getting an answer will be something to this effect.

(Usually in a panicked voice and most likely having not followed the normal 15 min interval,) “Mom I just thought I would call you before (insert obligation/event ETC,) happens. I guess you’re not available but I want to let you know that I will have to call you later as I will be busy with (insert obligation/event ETC,) and won’t be able to take calls until after I’m done.”

Despite having every intention to leave it at that, the desire to call mom usually takes over and I end up calling her repeatedly after that. This is done until she either answers, calls back, or until I’m forced to stop calling due to the scheduled appointment or engagement having started. If I have not talked to her prior to the start of something, my willingness to properly participate in whatever I’m doing will decrease and every few mins, I will desire to stop what I’m doing to attempt to call her. Unfortunately though in most cases, this will be frowned upon by those in charge of whatever the scheduled event ETC is. An example of this took place at a day camp I was attending. Having not yet heard from mom on the first day at the start of camp, there was a rule put in place that phones weren’t allowed. Not knowing this or that I had arrived at camp yet, mom attempted to call me. I answered only to confronted by a female counselor which resulted in a massive fight taking place where mom was severely angry at me.

(With mom on the phone and able to hear the confrontation, a female counselor approaches me,) ‘Excuse me did you not hear the rule? Phones aren’t allowed.” She approaches me and attempts to take the phone away.

(Mom is unaware of what is happening,) “Hello? What’s going on?”

(Counselor obtains the phone,) ‘Hi it’s (insert her name) I was just letting him know that our protocol is for clients not to use their phone during the session and the session has already started.”

Mom: Oh is he there already?” (meaning at the camp)

Counselor: “Yes he’s here. Is his name Jeff?”

Mom: Yes I’m his mom.”

At this point, I get the phone back and scold the counselor. “You don’t get to talk to her unless you s–k me first lady!” I attempt to put her in a compromising position which is seen by a male counselor. He rushes to try and help her.

“Oh my god. That is so inappropriate.” He says

Me: “Only because you’re not doing it.”

He grabs my arm in an attempt to calm me down. “She works here. Now please stop.”

Me: Did you just fuckin grab me? You little asshole.”

(Finally having heard enough, mom steps in and demands to know the address of the place so she can pick me up fearing for my safety.) “I want you to go in the hallway. Don’t say a word. I’m demanding my money back. Who the hell does he think he is? That little fucker!”

Mom arrives minutes later to find me in the hallway. “Where are these little f—s?”

I point out them both. While the female is available, the male counselor is now busy with something else.

“Yeah sure run and hide but she’ll find you. If she doesn’t my stepfather will.” I say

Upon confronting them both, the manager shows her security footage of what really happened. Appalled, she apologizes profusely before telling me to do so, (which I do,) before opting to sit in on the rest of the first session.

I remained a client there for the rest of that week, even dancing with the female counselor on the day of the dance where I once again apologized for my actions which she accepted.

This was just one of the few incidents that resulted in me not talking to mom prior to having something to do for myself.

Part 2 of this schedule will be written at a later date.

By Jefferson Bert