To everybody on this planet, here’s a word of advice. Do not show interest in me at all because you wouldn’t be doing me any favors. I literally just wrote a novel on how I never should have accepted my ex girlfriend’s request to date me in the first place and for days on end, I’ve been writing about how seeking out another girlfriend would be a bad idea and how it should be outlawed, ETC. It’s getting to the point where I feel like I should be a child in school whose punishment is to write lines. In my case, those lines should read, “I will never seek out another girlfriend as long as I live nor will I accept any offers to be with another girl,” over 1000 times because it feels like I’ve written those same lines over 1000 times in the past four days just with different lead ups. It is now to the point where I’m sick of writing that. I know I said that the last post would be the last anybody ever hears of myself with my relationships, ETC. Well, that lasted about 10 mins. In a scenario lasting less than 2 mins, I see myself talking with my fake girlfriend about an outing I’m going on with mom today where she asks if she can come. Of course, Jeff being Jeff, I misinterpret this and lead her to the staircase. I reply, “Nobody goes out with mom except for my stepbrother and me”, (having used his real name when addressing the actual scenario,) before pushing her down one of the flights of stairs. After she survives the fall, I proceed to push her down the next flight which unfortunately leads to her death. Only then did I reach that point where I realize that she’s not real and I return to reality. This brought me to where I am now and I believe that I should just be locked up if anyone ever makes the stupid decision to have any romantic involvement with me, hence the title of this post.

The key point in avoiding freak outs over these scenarios is to write about them as soon as possible after they occur. This allows me to get out what is bothering me and I usually feel better once I’m done. This is why I’m writing about this so much. It gives me an avenue to release the stress caused by these scenarios without me getting in trouble from mom or anyone else for having them. Keeping them bottled up inside for too long results in the scenario manifesting into something bigger which in turn causes me to freak out over it. This is why I need to be able to write about it as soon as it happens.

By: Jefferson Bert